As of the 1st February 2016 I will be taking the family on an adventure called “Time Out”. This is where we see if we can survive with no income whilst we regroup and refocus to determine what it is we want out of life.
You may not be aware that over the last 4 years Rosie has battled with and, we hope, won the breast cancer war. A huge topic, not worthy of a canny one-liner, but one that is very much an individual experience for both the patient and their loved ones.
She was brilliant throughout, my love and admiration for her multiplied manyfold as whilst she suffered the routine indignities of weekly hospitalisation, the sickness brought on by chemotherapy, the hair loss and the massively traumatic and invasive surgery to remove the whole breast and much of the lymph nodes on one side. Then the radiotherapy, which is a relatively indiscriminate cell killing death ray, though the most effective option we had available at the time. She rarely got upset or angry, shed few tears, least not shared. She focused mainly upon Tilly who was the main priority, thus to allow me to maintain some semblance of work capability.
So in the eye of the storm you focus upon the immediate threat and prioritise accordingly. My employers were very supportive and our friends locally, stepped up where they could, some incredibly, others less so but still being very supportive.
We got through it, but somehow, “we”, “us”, our togetherness got lost along the way. Don’t get me wrong we are still tight, but we are not two halves of the same thing anymore. We are part of this family, but we are not so well aligned or aware of each other like we used to be. So what I am trying to say is that “we” need to fix that and “we”need to do it now. If we carry on and wait until later then it may be too late to fix. Some make claims regarding the statistics of marriage break up around critical illness as many marriages disintegrate under the pressure. In the general population, the lifetime divorce rate is roughly 50 percent; for chronically ill people, the rate is 75 percent. So I get it, I can see how it changes you and how you can drift apart.
We have thus taken the opportunity to fix this and to see if we can’t come back even better than we were before and not only defeat the odds but reverse them.
Now that will be a success story worth blogging.